There are certain things that brought me closer to most of my students. First, the coincidental fact, that I will see them in at least five different subjects that they would have to undergo before they are rendered eligible for the ‘real world’. Second, for the final year students, they would have to live with me for at least two weeks during their block mode lectures in Kuching, East Malaysia. Third, maybe my age has a lot to do with this.
So you get the picture, these undergraduates often appeared as if they are my friends rather than students. Although difficult, I always try to maintain a degree of professionalism by not entertaining much of highly personal chitchats. However, I do give exceptions on students that are genuinely distressed and need someone to talk to.
Of course, since I am not exactly a qualified psychiatrist/therapist/such, my opinions would be based solely on my guiding principles and experiences. These counselling a.k.a. ‘curhat’ sessions range from relationships, annoying group members, parents divorcing, to misbehaving pets.
However, a strange case appeared recently from a former student, male student. He claimed to be highly distraught over certain matters. Our conversation went something like this:
Boy : ‘I’ve been sleeping with several girls.’
Arion: (shocked and wondered, ‘why is he telling me this ?’)
Mind you, I found serious discussion on sex, especially with a student(although ‘ex’ student) weird. I would not know what to say, or recommend, or advise.
Arion: ‘Uhmm … and then?’
Boy : ‘This is the problem, no matter what I do, I can’t seem to get rid of them now!’
Arion: ‘You’re a jerk!‘ 😦
Boy: ‘I know, Miss.’ 😦
‘But , what should I do now???’
Arion: ‘Don’t reply their text messages, don’t pick up your phone.’
Boy: ‘Tried all that. None works. They know where I live so they’d come over if they can’t reach me!’
Arion: ‘Alright. Set a date with each one of them. Talk to them seriously and tell them that you’re glad that they’ve done you a
favour, but very sorry, you don’t wish to have a long term relationship with them. Make sure when you do this, you
look all business, make the statement short and sharp.’
Boy: ‘But .. they’d be very angry’
Arion: ‘They should be! Prepare to be splashed with some icky liquid, punched, spat on or slapped in public. You are very
lucky if she only uttered some bad words.’
Boy: ‘Miss, you’re mean -_-‘
Arion: ‘uhmm … I’m not. I’m just offering my solution.’ ^^
Soon after, he had to leave the campus, so our conversation ended right there. I have no idea if my so-called solution is wise enough. Obviously, it is a little too late to say , “abstinence is the best” or to shower him with a lesson on morality.
To end with, the moral of the story is: I love my job. 🙂