I requested for a temporary leave for all activities in vihara (fyi , vihara means Buddhist temple) so I can focus on completing my work here. Yet, I can’t help but feeling rather empty for not being there listening to children’s buzzing noise today.
Since I’ve placed my day job as the #1 in my priority list, I found myself pushing certain other items down the list. At least I’m at peace because I know everything will still run well in the children sunday Dhamma class, much thanks to my very dedicated friends there 🙂
Workload here is tenfolds than what I had before. To make matter worse, adaptation process in my relatively new job has been a tough process, and I’ve lost several supposedly effective weekdays mourning over
a certain unfortunate emotional-related event (i hate how my emotional state affects my professional life ) and I have to pick up my pace now.
Other than work reason, I think I always knew that I haven’t been able to live up to my own expectations. Letting my emotional state to overwhelm me was a sign that my mindfulness practise has failed. On top of that, I realised that I have failed to be selfless. Clinging on things that don’t really belong to me will result in nothing but my own destruction. Once again, I have to undergo defragmentation, disk cleanup and system restore -_-” ( it sucks to be Windows based ).
I promised this ‘leave’ will not be long , I shall be back with much fresher energy ^_^ .