One thing about Chinese New Year is that it is obligatory for me to visit older relatives. Last year, I could skip this because I celebrated CNY at my parents’ in Malaysia. This year though, it is just not very feasible for me to fly there – they understand that, thankfully. Anyway, I’m actually quite a sociable bee, so I actually enjoy visiting and catching up with them, excepppttt …. for ‘one’. Let ‘one’ equals Y. Y is a very close relative and she hates me. She will not say she hates me, but she does. She could easily pull a mind game and manipulate stories and suddenly BOOM ! You left feeling worthless, evil (even when you initially have no such intention), all empty and sad. In short : Y is difficult. Strangely, I must be the only one in the whole extended family who thinks that way ! Everyone else seemed to worship her. I would like to mend the relationship, but not at the expense of my soul- I would like to have some dignity attached. Any advice on how to do that?